CZW's Un FN Believable (2001)

CZW Un'FN'Believable 4/14/01 FEATURES THE SICKEST MATCH OF ALL TIME.


1. Nick Berk vs Z-Barr
2. Briscoe Brothers vs Danny Rose and Jeff Rocker
3. Ruckus vs Hurricane Kid
4. Nate Hatred and Hardcore Nick Gage vs Jon Dahmer & Eddie Valentine
5. Ric Blade vs Trent Acid vs Reckless
6. Nick Mondo & Jun Kasai vs Justice Pain & Johnny Kashmere...This is the match everybody is talking about. THE SICKEST MATCH EVER IN PRO WRESTLING. This bout was filled with hundreds of lightbulbs, plus barbed wire, bats, & tons of other weapons. RF Video has exclusive footage that nobody else has as Rob Feinstein took the camera in the backstage area. You will see Jun Kasai's flesh wound and see his bone. We followed him into the shower to wash the blood off and then get stitched up. During the match Kasai also had his tail on fire.
7. Lobo vs Mad Man Pondo in the No Ropes Barbed Wire Match for the CZW Iron Man Championship. Another extremely sick and bloody match filled with tons of objects





Dusting off the old DVD collection for a rare look back at one of Combat Zone Wrestling’s earliest events. Coined “Un FN Believable”, it took place on April 14th 2001 in some dirty auditorium somewhere in front of about 100 people (if that). Production values, lightning, accessories (and ring action) is nowhere near what it would become in just a few more years. Envision your average underground indy show, and you’ve got a good visual for this.


Nick Berk and Z-Barr open the show (after a little mic work) and exhibit some standard indy-level highly-choreographed exchanges. I think Nick Berk got a couple of try-outs with WWE a few years later, but that’s the furthest either one of these guys went in the industry. There was also a tag match featuring my dude Nate Hatred, who's kinda like a new school DC Drake with rock star hair. He's one of the two, maybe three guys here tonight who actually "looks" the part of a pro wrestler.




A VERY young Briscoe Brothers are up next against their opponents Danny Rose and Jeff Rocker (who take the mic pre-match and lament their lack of a title shot). For an idea of how young and fresh the Briscoe Bros are here, I don’t spot ONE shitty tattoo on either one of them. Jeff Rocker actually looks the thickest and most well-built of all the scrawny pencil-necked geeks on this card, and his partner “Doomsday” Danny Rose exhibits the most in-match charisma (including a few funny exchanges with the ref, like when an astounded Danny Rose exclaimed “and they’re supposed to be the babyfaces!” after the Briscoe’s ran in to break up a pin). Briscoe Brothers win. The shaky, extreme-close-up style of video production here is starting to give off a little “Blair Witch Project” effect (IE: motion sickness).



Mark Briscoe


Up next, my dude Ruckus (who would go on to form BLKOUT a few years later). This is from early in his career when he weighed almost 300 pounds, and it sure looks like it. He looks exactly like Kenan Thompson from “Good Burger” with a red bandanna tied “Thug Life” style around his head.





His opponent tonight is “Hurricane Kid” – NOT to be confused with the Human Tornado or Hurricane Helms. When he first came through the curtain, I thought he was just another member of the audience. Skinny little white boy who looks two days removed from wrestling in somebody’s backyard. Ruckus and Hurricane Kid open the match with another flurry of over-rehearsed indy counters and reversals while some dick in the audience starts yelling “BORING!” The ring action is standard for the course, some fun back-n-forth action before it nearly crashes and burns when Hurricane Kid botches a hurricanrana attempt from the top rope to the arena floor – bashing the back of his head on the hard-ass tile. Again the cinematography is ill because every time the camera guy moves around he catches the dialogue of surrounding people and security (and their off-hand comments reveal just how amateur this whole production is – which is really half the charm). Hurricane Kid continues to show classic indy determination when he tries that hurricanrana AGAIN inside the ring and STILL can’t clear the complete rotation. Of note – Hurricane Kid is most famous for his “chair incident” in CZW, in which he was tied up tree-of-woe style in the corner and his opponent Ruckus chucked a steel chair at his head that legit KOd him and split his head open. BUT he and Ruckus actually do that spot successfully tonight! (a full two or three years before the “incident” that would become the Kid’s career highlight). Nothing to see here, but a lot of the high-flying lucha stuff here is made extra effective by the fact there is no padding outside the ring! Just hard-ass tile floor. So seeing 300-pound Ruckus busting out a space flying tiger drop is actually a “WHOA” moment. Good stuff. Ruckus wins.


Ruckus


Another personal favorite of mine is the Ric Blade - Trent Acid - Reckless Youth 3-way elimination dance. And speaking of hard-ass tile floor, that would come into play again when Ric Blade - one of Zandig's first CZW students - completely busts his shit up when he tries this crazy Jeff Hardy-isque spinning somersault senton from the top rope. He does a complete belly flop right on his hip and leg and is quickly, and obviously injured. The handheld camera zooming around chasing the action picks up a few people talking about the injury, but nobody really knows what to do. So Trent Acid and Reckless Youth finally decide to pick up the match themselves back in the ring while Ric Blade is tended to outside. Reckless Youth is an interesting case because I remember when he was like, the next big thing in indy wrestling. The CM Punk, Samoa Joe, Christopher Daniels kind of prospect, but outside of a WWE developmental deals and what not Reckless Youth never made much of an impact. He and the flamboyant (and obviously Jeff Hardy circa 2001-swagger jacking) Trent Acid have a nice little counter/reversal/run really fast exchange and finally Ric Blade (or "Ric FUCKIN Blade" as the CZW chants say) gets back into the action. A few moments of tense silence as his earlier injury is still so fresh, but he manages to work through it and get back to playing. This is one of my favorite matches on the DVD because I think it epitomizes what the early CZW product (and in turn, 99% of the small time indy feds) is really all about. Ric FN Blade is one of owner John Zandigs first pupils, so of course he's going to get the hometown push. Just like Lobo and Justice Pain will later, and why Nick Gage was wrestling in a tag team title match earlier in the night. It's all love. Even though these guys look nothing like dangerous, big tough wrestlers, and more like zealous, backyard wrestlers. Ric Blade in particular just looks straight white trash. And he has a history of fucking himself up big time at CZW shows (breaking ankles, smashing bones, having to removed on stretchers legit) because they're just not that good. But of course, here tonight at Un FN Believable, Reckless Youth is eliminated first before Ric Blade sets up Trent Acid for the climatic spot of the night - a big swanton off a trailer outside the arena putting Trent Acid through a table. Blade even looks up to the camera for approval, asking "didja get that???" Match was ruled a no-contest I think but the crowd got to chant "Ric FUCKIN Blade!" a bunch of times.



Ric Blade


Another first-school graduate, Justice Pain gets the semi-main event spot and of all the homegrown CZW talent he looks the most imposing. At least he looks like a guy that's seen the inside of a gym (or at least the syringe tip of a needle), unlike the other guys who looked like they just hopped over the railing. Justice Pain gets mic time after Johnny Kashmere cuts some whiny "I Quit" speech. Justice Pain begs for him to come back; the CZW audience respects you (they don't). So they make up and challenge their opponents for the night. "Last Resort" by Papa Roach blares the soundsystem and "Sick" Nick Mondo and Jun Kasai (two of my all-time faves) make their entrance wielding weaponry - the first of which we've seen tonight. So far it's all been a decent to middling independent wrestling event. Here's the kind of match CZW would emphasizes and become best known for.


Justice Pain


The video touts this as "the sickest match in CZW history", but truth be told it's a traditional "death match". Granted the novelty of such extremity was still pretty new to the genre, as many promotions scrambled to fill the void by ECW and raise the bar accordingly. These four guys brawl all over the place, with Mondo and Kashmere pairing up while Justice Pain and Jun Kasai take it through the crowd and into the backroom area. Kashmere looks like he doesn't really want to play, and a bare chested Nick Mondo winds up taking most of the punishment. All kinds of sick stuff, like broken lightube fragments sticking out of backs, shards of glass everywhere and crimson galore. Finally in the most climatic moment in the match, Justice Pain and Kashmere combine to launch Jun Kasai over the top rope through a death trap of tables and florescent light tubes. Exciting crash and burn, and finally the camera man zooms in on a gaping hole in Kasai's left elbow. Bare bone can be seen. And that's still not the finish. Johnny Kashmere FINALLY gets into the match, after pretty much just walking around with his shirt on hitting Mondo with stuff and seemingly resisting a lot of big shots to himself. But now he just says "fuck it!" takes his shirt off, scales the top rope, and misses a somersault senton to the outside through a regular table. That's the finish, and "Sick" Nick Mondo and Jun Kasai are victorious. Kasai is back in the ring after cameras caught an assistant tieing a homebrewed tourniquet around his arm, ala Sabu - ironically the same name Kasai has written on his hand wraps with black marker. Sabu.



Lobo


Night's still not over yet though, as Madman Pondo and Lobo clash in the main event for the CZW Iron man championship in a No Ropes Barbed Wire Match. Pondo is at his aesthetically non-pleasing worst tonight, with a whispy mullet and a Juggalo hockey shirt. Lobo couldn't look more average or unassuming, even with the "GI Joe" logo emblazoned on his black t-shirt. Again, truly the definition of "weekend warriors". The up close intimacy with the fans is both a blessing and a boon for the show. It illustrates the connection between the performers and the regulars (especially when every little exchange can be picked up on camera), but it also makes for some awkward silences and little to no genuine "pops". Despite the horrific trappings of this match, it's almost played out more for comedy. Pondo and Lobo exchange a couple of sloppy strikes and shoves, before just deciding to break keyfabe and work together to create a ladder/chair contraption in the middle of the ring. Team work in a Death Match! I think Pondo went through it. A few more awkward spots on the outside, when Madman Pondo just... can't... figure out a way to stand on the ring apron when the ropes are made of barbed wire. He just can't stand up on the apron for the big spot, and it's kind of humorous in its futility. More shuffling around to set up the next big spot. Funny moment when some random crowd voice implores Pondo to "raise the bar, Pondo!" Do something different! So he sets up a chair on a table outside the ring, gently sits Lobo in the chair, and then does a fat guy outta control plancha over the barbed wire ropes to hit Lobo and break the table. Pretty pedestrian bump over all. Finally Pondo gets his jersey stripped off in the ring (revealing why he keeps that thing on - huge, fat and pasty), and winds up taking a bare chested hang mans drop on the barbed wire ropes after being pitched off the ladder. Camera's zoom in on the jagged slash on his right pectoral beginning to ooze blood, while hometown hero Lobo scales the ladder and retrieves his belt. Good night America.


Madman Pondo

Cameras follow the boys backstage, where Jun Kasai's wounds are all the more frightening. Absolutely brutal, jagged slashes throughout his back and arms like he just got attacked by a sword-wielding Berzerker. And of course, the hole in his elbow that is now clearly showing bone. Ill look behind the curtain of an indy show though, years before "The Wrestler" did it on film. Guys all together kind of milling around. Kasai being tended to by a fat white lady who is annoyed by having the camera around so much. He gets up when Justice Pain enters though and the two have a pleasant exchange while the white woman barks at Kasai to "get back here!" A huge blood puddle has pooled in the chair he was sitting in. Kasai's funny; the completely lost foreigner who gets shuttled around by people trying to clean him off. Trent Acid even helps dry his ragged back after they rinsed it in the shower. Finally the woman is applying some kind of liquid to Kasai's gaping elbow wound and tells the camera to cut. She's had enough and the DVD is finished.


Jun Kasai

Overall, this is one of my favorite wrestling DVDs just for the sheer novelty of it. It's small time, low budget and real injuries are the theme of the entire production. Alot of cringe worthy spots - and not from "I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY JUST DID THAT!" - more like "Oooh that kid almost killed himself". But it's a good look back at when some of these guys were just breaking in, and the progress (or forced retirement in the case of guys like Ric Blade) of their careers. The close, frenetic pacing of the cinematography almost lends a voyeuristic quality to the proceedings - like you're watching something you're not supposed to be seeing. This is compounded by the extra bonus backstage footage that literally brings you behind the magicians curtain, and the damage and repercussions of these types of matches are brutally apparent. All that plus Jun Kasai is the fucking shit. "Un FN Believable" gets a solid 2.5 grams out of 5 from your boy MSD.